The Four

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when it started. The four of them probably first met when they all played together in the church nursery. By the time they were in elementary school, our families would go camping together with several other church families. During those weekends the four of them—as well as our many other children—would roam the campgrounds in packs or hang out together in each other’s campers or tents.

Although they attended different schools and had dozens of different interests, over time the four girls became best friends. Of course there were the usual girl things—fights and disagreements, alliances and separations, harsh words, immature and hurtful actions, the bitchiness of girls growing up. And there were times when they were just busy and involved in their own lives, but for the most part, the relationships persisted. They loved and understood each other, and they had each other’s backs. They hung out together on Sunday mornings and at youth group, but they also spent time together outside of the church’s walls.  

Allison, the oldest, was the first to graduate from high school. After a semester in college, she enlisted in the Navy. She was stationed in California when she met someone…and then she was pregnant. Last December she gave birth to a baby boy, and she has been doing a great job of raising him on her own, especially for someone so young who is so far from the support of family.

In the meantime, the other three graduated and moved on as well. The two in the middle went off to college, choosing larger schools, although one has returned to her hometown to attend community college. Both the young ladies have had their emotional and academic ups and downs, as has my daughter Kelsey, the last to graduate, now heading into her second year at Hope College.

After several months of failed attempts, Allison was finally granted a leave to come home to introduce Chase to her parents, and all of the rest of us. It was important to Allison that Chase be baptized during her leave, a beautiful testimony to the love and connection of our small church.

On the morning of the baptism, Chase was a perfect angel when the pastor placed water his head once, twice, three times. Allison read a beautiful letter written to her son that communicated her love for God and for the church where she herself had been baptized.

All the girls were there for Chase’s baptism. In spite of everything that had happened in the many months since they had all been together, it was a moment when you could tell that, in the chronology of friendship, no time had passed. They still have each other’s backs, and on this important day, they were there for Allison and for Chase.

Time changes friendships, and there’s no way of knowing how strong or how long any relationships will last. On the cusp of adulthood, these girls are making lots of choices that will continue to move them in different directions. I don’t know if the church will be a touchstone for them in the future, or if time will deepen their faith or diminish it. But for today, I’m grateful for the lives of four beautiful, amazing, flawed young women and the potential that lies in them. I am grateful for a church that fosters friendships and feels like family. And I’m grateful for Chase, a new member of the family, a child of God’s promise.