Teeth

When we began the adoption process, the adoption agency did what it could to prepare us. We were required to read books on adoption behavior, things that are “normal,” or at least not unusual, in children who are adopted. The list is long and mostly unpleasant: lack of attachment, bed wetting, tantrums, hoarding, lack of boundaries, sleep disorders… the list goes on. We also took some classes on becoming a multiracial family, and because we were adopting older children, we also were given some specific advice on how to help their transition.

Like most parenting advice, the reality rarely matches up with the theory. But the education, coupled with our own experience and the fact that our kids are pretty much AMAZING, must have done some good, because three years later, Lily and Lewi seem to have adjusted well. Which doesn’t mean that some issues won’t emerge later, since that is also common with adopted kids. But for the moment, we feel blessed.

The agency also mentioned some medical issues we might expect, and within 48 hours of landing in Detroit we were in the pediatrician’s office. The kids were checked for AIDS (again) and for parasites, and were negative for both. They did, however, have nasty ringworm—Lily still has scarring on her hand from a particularly aggressive patch. They needed all of their immunizations, since in developing nations the vaccination schedule and the quality of inoculations can be a little uneven. None of this was unexpected or difficult to deal with, and in general the pediatrician seemed happy with their overall health. We felt blessed.

And then I took the kids to their first dental appointment.

The kids had mouths full of rotten teeth. It’s not clear how their baby teeth got in this condition in just a few short years, but it’s likely a combination of bad hygiene and bad nutrition. I also suspect that the kids drank a lot of soda in their early years, especially since water quality in Ethiopia is poor, which could account for a lot of the damage.

Lewi, then a child of three, had five teeth that were so damaged that they needed to be rebuilt. Lily’s teeth were a little better, but not much. We couldn’t leave the teeth alone, since the rot could ruin the adult teeth, and we couldn’t pull them, because it would mess up the spacing for future teeth. (Besides, the kids needed teeth to eat. That seems pretty obvious, but I was surprised by the number of people who forget this important function.)

As the staff explained all that had to happen and how many thousands of dollars would cost, I managed to remain calm, but I’m sure I was getting paler by the minute. As I was paying for the day’s visit and making arrangements to come back, the woman patted my hand and said, “It’s not really that bad. It’s going to be okay.”

She was right, of course. The dental office helped us space out the work over a couple of years so that we could maximize the amount insurance would pay. Now the kids have begun to lose some of those baby teeth and their new ones are growing in strong. There might be more dental issues coming, but for now both of them have beautiful smiles, and we feel blessed.

In North America, we have dozens of types of toothpaste, floss, and dental rinses, and proper and consistent dental maintenance goes a long way toward preventing future problems. . We have whiteners and orthodontics and dentists who can solve all sorts of pains in the mouth. For those of us with access to good dental care and insurance to offset the cost, it’s easy to forget that, for most of the world, good teeth are a luxury. We are blessed.

So remember to floss. And remember to smile. If you’ve got ‘em, flaunt ‘em!