2014

Ah, the new year. A time of fresh starts and starting over. My resolutions, unoriginal and predictable, are the same each year, and every publication knows what they are. At the checkout at Target, magazine covers implore: Get Organized NOW! They promise: Lose 20 Pounds FAST! These two “resolutions” have been on my list for every year I can remember. And although I start each year with good intentions, my craft room is a perennial disaster area, and my weight is, too.

As I look forward to 2014, I will try, once more, to get all the photos into albums and my body back to the gym. I certainly will accomplish some things, but it never feels like it’s enough. There is always more to be done or that can be done. It’s not that I’m standing still. My life is rich and full and complicated, with unexpected twists that consume my time and my energy. I have reasons, and I have excuses, for not getting everything done, and sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between the two.

I am glad that my life is full, even if I don’t always love being on call for the kids or cleaning the bathroom. When I start to feel sorry for myself, I remind myself that I’m privileged to have kids to shuttle and a home to clean. They aren’t burdens; they are blessings. And if I’m feeling pressed for time, I remember that I spend far more time playing Candy Crush and watching Law and Order reruns than I should.  That’s among the reasons I “don’t have time” to get more done.

For years I’ve thought about writing a book, and when I lost my full-time job, I thought that maybe I would have a month or two between jobs to pound something out. Four years later, I’m still looking for full-time work, and still haven’t “found the time” to write that novel. I have, however, filled my time with lots of other things: caring for the kids in a million ways; sewing and crafting; working part-time at a couple of jobs; and writing for hire, through which I have learned a lot and helped to put food on the table.  

Writing for hire has also led me to my current project. I’m ghost writing a book. Since I’ve signed a nondisclosure agreement, that’s probably all I can say about it. My name won’t appear on the finished product, and no matter how well it sells, I will never receive a dime in royalties. And I am totally fine with all of that, because, hey, I’m finally writing a book! Even if no one else knows, I’ll know.

Now that it looks like there’s a real possibility for this dream to come true, it gives me hope for so many other great things to happen in 2014. It feels as if anything is possible! I could actually get organized or be a size 8 (okay, a size 10). But if those things don’t happen, that’s okay, too.

Because I know that the 365 days ahead will be full of wonderful things: accomplishments great and small, unexpected joys, new people and places and adventures. And I know there will be pain and sorrow and disappointments. It will be a year like every other, and like no other.

It’s going to be a great year. Welcome 2014!